We all have that side to our character which may not be apparent at all when we first meet someone. In fact, what later becomes a problem may initially have been one of the traits that made us charming: self-confidence turns into selfishness, stability into stubbornness, sensitivity into emotional manipulation, and independence into aloofness.
No star sign is «toxic» in and of itself, and of course a particular trait does not manifest itself in the same way in everyone. However, there are specific behaviours to which each star sign may be more prone when it is in its difficult, immature or insecure phase.
And that is where the real red flag lies: not in a single mistake, but in a recurring pattern that gradually begins to affect the relationship.
So what is the biggest red flag for each star sign when things start to get difficult?;
A pendant featuring black obsidian and haematite.
Black obsidian is thought to help you recognise toxic patterns and negative influences more clearly, so that you can set boundaries and distance yourself more easily from people who are «red flags» for you.
Aries — Wants to win the argument, not solve the problem
Aries are intense and direct, and usually have no trouble telling you what’s bothering them. This can be a huge plus in a relationship: at least you know where you stand.
The red flag appears when every disagreement turns into a battle that he has to win.
In the most extreme cases, he may react before listening, raise his voice, say something very harsh in the heat of the moment, and then consider the matter closed simply because he has calmed down.
Except that the other person may not have calmed down at all.
There is also a tendency to view a setback as a defeat. So if they feel they are admitting their mistake, they may initially become even more defensive rather than simply saying, «Yes, I was wrong here.».
The real problem begins when this becomes a recurring pattern and his partner starts to avoid voicing any complaints for fear of triggering yet another outburst.
The red flag with an Aries isn’t that they get angry. It’s when they believe that, just because their own anger has passed, the hurt they caused the other person has automatically gone away as well.
Taurus — They may stick with something problematic simply because they don’t want to change
Taurus has one huge advantage in relationships: stability. Once they’ve committed, they don’t easily abandon someone at the first sign of trouble.
It’s just that this very same characteristic could also turn out to be its greatest pitfall.
The red flag appears when stability turns into stagnation and stubbornness into a refusal to recognise that something needs to change.
They may continue to behave in the same way because «that’s just how they are». They may refuse to compromise because they feel that if they give in once, they will lose control. Or they may stay in a relationship that isn’t working for years, simply because the idea of change causes them greater anxiety than the unhappiness itself.
And when it feels under pressure, it may become even more entrenched in its position.
The result is that the other person may talk, explain and ask for changes, whilst the Taurus simply waits for the storm to pass so that everything can go back to the way it was.
The red flag for Taurus is when their need to keep something stable becomes more important than the need to ask themselves whether what they are holding on to is actually worth keeping the same.
Do you want to see what’s really going on in your own relationship?;
Our star sign accounts for only a small proportion of our astrological chart. To understand what a person is really thinking, how they function emotionally, and what the full potential of a relationship or an acquaintance is, we need to examine their personal horoscope or the synastry between the two charts.
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Gemini — They can give you ten different versions of the same story
Gemini have the ability to view an issue from many different perspectives. They are adaptable, quick-witted and can change their minds when new information comes to light.
However, when this flexibility takes a turn for the worse, the person they are dealing with may begin to wonder which version is actually the real one.
Today they might tell you they want something, and tomorrow they might explain to you with the same certainty why they never wanted it in the first place. During an argument, they may shift the focus of the discussion so quickly that, by the end, you’ve forgotten what the original problem was.
The red flag here is inconsistency that is not accompanied by an acceptance of responsibility.
There’s nothing wrong with changing one’s mind. It becomes a problem when every previous statement is revised to suit one’s interests at that particular moment.
The tricky thing about an immature Gemini isn’t that they change their mind. It’s that they can make you wonder whether you’re remembering the conversation you had yesterday correctly.
Cancer — They may make you feel guilty rather than telling you clearly what they want
Cancer feels things deeply and notices far more than they let on. However, when they haven’t learnt to express their needs directly, they may expect their partner to understand them without having to say a word.
And that’s where the red flag starts.
«It’s all right.»
«Do whatever you like.»
«All right, go on then.»
«I’ve got nothing.»
Except that it does.
Instead of saying «I’d like you to stay with me», he might pull away and wait for you to work out why. Instead of explaining that he’s been hurt, he might change his behaviour until you ask him.
In the most extreme cases, sensitivity can turn into guilt-tripping. They might use everything they’ve done for you as an argument, or make you feel that your independence is proof that you don’t love them enough.
Cancer’s ‘red flag’ appears when they expect you to read their feelings rather than communicating them — and then punish you for failing to guess them.
Leo — He may always need to be the centre of attention
Leo craves recognition and usually gives a great deal to the people he loves. The problem arises when the need to feel important turns into a demand that the whole relationship revolve around them.
In its most severe form, it can be difficult when attention is focused on someone else.
Your success may spark some rivalry. A difficult time you’re going through may, without you even realising it, lead to a discussion about his own feelings.
And if they feel they are not getting the reassurance they need, they may seek it in an excessive manner.
The red flag isn’t that he wants to feel special. Most of us do.
It’s when, in order for him to feel important, you have to make yourself seem less important.
If every story ultimately has to feature Leo as the main character, at some point you might find yourself wondering exactly what your role is in the relationship.
Virgo — «Help» can turn into constant criticism
Virgos can easily spot areas for improvement. It is one of the traits that make them practical, helpful and extremely observant.
It’s just that not everyone wants to live under constant scrutiny.
In its most extreme form, it can influence the way you speak, the way you organise your life, the way you do your job, or even the way you go about doing something completely trivial.
And very often her intention really is to help.
The result, however, may be a person who feels that nothing they do is quite right.
A red flag arises when Virgo assumes that, because her observation is logical, the way in which she expresses it is irrelevant.
It does.
If someone is constantly being told how they could be better, at some point they may start to believe that, in your eyes, they were never good enough.
Libra — They might tell you what you want to hear to avoid conflict
Libra strives for harmony and often has a genuine talent for seeing both sides of a situation.
The problem arises when the need to avoid a conflict takes precedence over honesty.
They might agree with you just to keep the peace. They might say «it’s no problem» even though there is one. They might put off a difficult conversation time and time again until the issue has become much bigger.
In more extreme cases, he may come across differently to different people, because he tries to please everyone.
And that is when diplomacy begins to bear a dangerous resemblance to vagueness.
The red flag for a Libra is when their need not to upset anyone ends up meaning that nobody knows what they’re really thinking.
Scorpio — Can turn trust into control
Scorpios crave depth and genuine intimacy. When they fall in love, they want to get to know their partner and feel that there are no secrets between them.
In its more extreme form, however, the need for trust can turn into a need for absolute control.
They may analyse behaviour, look for hidden meanings, harbour suspicions without any real evidence, or assume that privacy is automatically a sign that you are hiding something.
And the biggest problem arises when «tests» of loyalty are devised.
If you constantly have to prove that you are trustworthy, then the trust you are supposedly trying to build doesn’t really exist.
A red flag with a Scorpio is when they demand your complete trust, whilst they themselves are constantly looking for a reason not to trust you.
Sagittarius — May call shirking responsibility «freedom»
Sagittarians need independence, space and the feeling that a relationship does not hold them back.
That is perfectly legitimate.
A red flag appears when the word «freedom» is used to justify any behaviour that one does not wish to take responsibility for.
Doesn’t he want to explain himself? «I don’t like being scrutinised.»
Is she not honouring an agreement? «I don’t want any pressure.»
Doesn’t he want to talk about where the relationship is heading? «Why do we have to put labels on things?»
At some point, a distinction needs to be made.
Independence is a right. However, inconsistency has consequences for the person standing opposite you as well.
A red flag with a Sagittarius appears when they want all the benefits of a relationship but see any responsibility that comes with it as a restriction on their freedom.
Capricorn — They may treat your feelings as a problem that needs solving
Capricorns are practical. When you present them with a problem, their first reaction is often to look for a solution.
It’s just that in a relationship, we don’t always look for a solution.
Sometimes we just want someone to listen to us.
In its more challenging form, Capricorn can become cold in the face of intense emotions. They may think someone is overreacting, try to «correct» what they are feeling, or immediately revert to reason.
And this can make the person opposite them feel lonely, even whilst they are in a relationship.
The red flag is not its practicality.
It is when he regards anything he cannot resolve as something not worth discussing.
Sometimes you don’t need to explain to your partner why they shouldn’t feel that way. They simply need to feel that they can be like that around you.
Aquarius — They may withdraw emotionally as soon as things get too intense
Aquarius has the ability to view a situation objectively and to take a step back when necessary.
To a certain extent, this is an advantage.
A red flag appears when emotional detachment becomes the default way of dealing with any difficult emotion.
Is a discussion getting too heated? It’s shut down.
Are you asking for more emotional closeness? They’re pulling away.
Is there a difficult issue that needs to be discussed? You might suddenly need some «space».
And the other person is left wondering whether there will ever be a right time to say the things that really matter.
The need for space is healthy. However, constant emotional absence is not the same as space.
The red flag for an Aquarius is when, every time the relationship calls for greater closeness, he responds by creating even greater distance.
Pisces — They can make excuses for everything until they come across as the sole victim
Pisces are very empathetic and can understand many different sides to a story.
In their more complex form, however, the boundaries between what happened and how they felt about it can become blurred.
They may be avoiding a difficult reality, idealising someone and then becoming disappointed when that person does not live up to the image they have created.
And sometimes they find it difficult to acknowledge their own share of the blame.
They may focus so much on how much they suffered that the narrative loses sight of the way in which they themselves contributed to the conflict.
The red flag appears when vulnerability turns into a permanent victim mentality.
Just because someone has suffered does not automatically mean they did not make mistakes — and this is perhaps one of the hardest truths for the immature side of Pisces to accept.
Do you want to see what’s really going on in your own relationship?;
Our star sign accounts for only a small proportion of our astrological chart. To understand what a person is really thinking, how they function emotionally, and what the full potential of a relationship or an acquaintance is, we need to examine their personal horoscope or the synastry between the two charts.
For Live sessions exclusively with me, you can book your appointment here.
For written customer service, so that you have your analysis to hand and can refer to it at any time, you can contact me here.
For immediate assistance from me or my team, call:
Landline: €1.82/1’
Mobile: €2.18/1’
VAT and the telecommunications levy are included.
Helpline: 2109472166
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