How the Signs Relax: A Humorous Guide

Everyone has their own way of relaxing, but when it comes to star signs… things take on a whole new dimension. Let’s take a look at how the zodiac signs «unwind», because it might not be as simple as you think!

Aries:
«Relaxing? Yes, with my foot on the accelerator!» For an Aries, relaxation means driving at 200 km/h, running five marathons and sending five text messages at the same time. For an Aries, if there’s no adrenaline, there’s no life. If someone suggests they sit on the sofa, they’ll take it as a personal insult!

Taurus:
«Relaxing means eating, sleeping, eating… and starting all over again!» Taurus knows the secret to relaxation: food, sleep and endless channel-hopping. A well-laid table and a comfortable armchair are all they need. Just don’t disturb them whilst they’re munching, or their peace and quiet will go out the window!

Gemini:
«Relaxing? You mean doing 12 things at once?» Gemini believes that relaxing means scrolling through their mobile whilst chatting to three friends, reading a book and listening to a podcast all at the same time. «Peace and quiet» is a foreign concept to them. If they’re not doing five things at once, they feel… dead.

Cancer:
«Relaxing means being at home, under my blanket, and having a good cry in front of Netflix!» Cancer feels completely at peace when they’re at home, snuggled up with their favourite blanket and a drama series. If Netflix suggests something moving, so much the better. A good cry is the most effective way for a Cancer to unwind.

Leo:
«Relaxation is having everyone admire me whilst… I relax!» For Leo, relaxation involves at least three people admiring him whilst he sits back comfortably and sips his mojito. There’s no better way to relax than feeling that everyone is looking at him in awe. A spa, a sauna and cameras trained on him – the ultimate dream!

Virgo:
«For me, relaxation means organising my drawers and cleaning every nook and cranny!» Virgos relax when everything around them is tidy and spotless. «Tidying up» is their therapy. A drawer full of filed documents or a spotless wardrobe… what more could they ask for in life?;

Libra:
«Relaxation is… not having to make any decisions!» A Libra only relaxes when there’s no need to decide anything. If they have to choose between coffee or tea, they have a panic attack. The ideal scenario? Someone taking them by the hand and saying, «Don’t worry, I’ll sort everything out.» That’s when they feel completely at peace.

Scorpio:
«Relaxation is making you wonder what I’m thinking!» A Scorpio relaxes when they make others feel uncomfortable with their intense gaze. For him, there’s no better way to relax than to make you wonder, «What on earth is he thinking?». His mysterious calm is the perfect weapon for keeping you on your toes.

Archer:
«For me, relaxation means travelling… even if only in my mind!» A Sagittarius cannot relax unless they are planning their next trip. For them, relaxation means dreaming of getaways, adventures and faraway destinations. If they can’t go anywhere, they at least relax with a good travel book.

Capricorn:
«Relaxing is when I’m working… yes, that’s how I relax!» Capricorns find true relaxation in their work. The more projects they have to manage, the more relaxed they feel. Don’t expect them to lie around doing nothing. «Relaxation» is something they’re unfamiliar with… unless it’s combined with their professional success.

Aquarius:
«Relaxing means saving the world from my sofa!» An Aquarius relaxes when they’re planning how to change the world, ideally whilst sitting on their sofa with their laptop on their lap. For them, relaxation means coming up with revolutionary ideas and trying to find solutions for the good of humanity. All this, of course, with a coffee in hand.

Pisces:
«Relaxation is losing myself in my imagination… and perhaps never coming back!» Pisces relax when they retreat into their own world. Books, music and daydreaming are their tools for total relaxation. If you let them, they might get so lost in their imagination that they forget to come back to reality.