So what would each sign complete if they had to finish the phrase “I identify as...” and why? Let's tap into each sign's imagination with humor and wit.
Aries:
“I identify as... the protagonist of every movie.” There's no doubt about it, dear Aries. A protagonist is born, not made. You're always in the spotlight, even if the director yells at you to get out of the shot. You can't play a supporting role, you'd go on a hunger strike.
Taurus:
“I identify as... a couch potato connoisseur.” You enjoy everything in slow motion. Why rush when life is full of couches, coffee and comfort food? Let others run, you'll sit where you should: with a good pillow and Netflix.
Gemini:
“I identify as... both sides of the argument.” Why choose sides when you can have both? The definition of a double life, Gemini will drive you crazy with its versatility. Today pro-vaccine, tomorrow he's thinking about it again. He's like Google Translate, always in two languages at once.
Cancer:
“I identify as... the designated emotional support animal.” With a box of tissues always in hand and the calendar page filled with tears, Cancer is the person who will cry more for the end of a series than the characters themselves. Hugs for everyone, please.
Leo:
“I identify as... a walking award show.” Leo is the epitome of glam. Have you ever met a Leo who doesn't think he deserves the Oscar of Life? No one applauds himself as loudly as he does. And yes, he's already written his acceptance speech.
Virgo:
“I identify as... the Quality Control Department.” No one will correct your spelling on WhatsApp faster than a Virgo. He's the person who recovers from clutter shock by watching tutorials on how to fold your clothes. Hire him or not, he's already your manager.
Libra:
“I identify as... an undecided voter.” An eternal question with legs. It takes two hours to decide what to order at the restaurant and another two to say “Maybe I shouldn't have gotten that.” At least he's always handsome while doing it.
Scorpio:
“I identify as... your deepest, darkest secret.” Scorpio has that look that says “I know what you did last summer.” If you think you can hide from him, congratulations, but you're probably naive. When it comes to secrecy, he's better than a closed file at the FBI.
Archer:
“I identify as... a professional escape artist.” No one has left a boring conversation faster than an Archer. He's the epitome of “Someone's looking for me!”, and he's probably looking for his next adventure, or at least his next cocktail.
Capricorn:
“I identify as... a corporate ladder climber.” Capricorn doesn't waste time on meaningless things like “fun” or “rest”. Every moment of his life is an investment for the future. He makes Google Calendar feel inadequate and the word “three-day” is not in his dictionary.
Aquarius:
“I identify as... a misunderstood genius.” If you don't understand Aquarius' ideas, it's simply because you're not ready for them. Every day is a manifesto. He's the person who will discover the next great theory, but don't ask him what he's having for dinner because he has no idea.
Pisces:
“I identify as... a cosmic mermaid.” Pisces lives in a world where unicorns hang out with dolphins and trees whisper poems. If he tells you he spoke to a spirit last night, don't be surprised. Just make sure you gave it enough attention, or it will get lost in its own ocean again.
And just like that, the signs of the zodiac complete their own identity with a caustic sense of humour and a dose of self-awareness.
Greek 
English