Some kids never played enough. They didn't cry freely. They didn't feel there was room for their own feelings because someone else - usually the mother or father - needed them «strong.» If you felt from a young age that must to take care, to take care, to “be the mature one,” then your childhood may have been overshadowed by a a role that never belonged to you.
And no - it's not your idea. It's a family pattern that passes quietly from generation to generation.
When the child takes on the role of the adult
At systems theory, we recognise the phenomenon where a child is “forced” to take on responsibilities, mental or practical, that belong to the parents. This usually occurs when one parent is mentally or emotionally absent, when there is bereavement, depression, addiction or unresolved trauma.
The child then enters in a carer's position, partner, even “parent of a parent”. This role reversal is not consciously done, but the soul knows it. And it pays the price.
How does this look in your adult life?;
If you grew up before your time, you probably:
- You have trouble asking for help - because you're always the strong one.
- You feel guilty when enjoying, resting or taking care of yourself.
- You pull people who need care - and you become “mom” again.
- You feel that your needs always come last.
- You can't stand the idea of being dependent on someone - only you have “permission” to support others.
You often carry inside you a eternal weight: that your value is tied to giving. Not by just being yourself.
Systemic representation: the mirror that shows your position
Η systemic representation reveals this pattern in a shocking way. Through the experiential process, you can see how the child-you stepped into a position that was not his/her due, just to “keep the system going”.
When this is illuminated, the system recognises the error and restores the correct hierarchy: the child takes his place as a child, not as an adult, saviour or substitute. And then, you can finally rest. Allow yourself to enjoy, to take, to live.
You don't have to save anyone to be worthy
The need to always be “there for others” is not a character. It is survival mechanism that once saved you - and now exhausts you.
If you grew up before your time, it's time to grow up again what you have always been: a child of a family - not the axis of its existence.
Your worth is not measured by how many you take care of, but by how truly you live.
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