📜 Welcome to the Astrological House! The signs of the zodiac decide the future, and the laws they propose would certainly bring about the ups and downs!
💡 Some signs are practical and would vote for laws that would improve everyday life (Capricorn, Virgo), while others mainly want to be comfortable (Taurus, Libra). Some propose measures for the common good (Aquarius, Cancer), while others think their revenge and their imposition on the world (Scorpio, Aries).
🎬 So let's go see what changes each sign would bring to the world if it had the power!
♈ Aries - The law of overtaking 🚦🔥
“Anyone walking slowly in front of you in the street, you can pass them any way you want - even if you have to park over their head!”
The Aries has no patience. He doesn't understand why people moving so slowly. If he finds himself in line at the bank, he starts taking deep breaths. If someone drives slowly in the left lane, Aries loses faith in humanity.
Under his new law, speeding without a reason is punishable by a fine and compulsory speed training. If someone walks slowly in front of you, you are entitled to of the horns with an alarm clock sound so he can learn to speed up.
📌 Notes: This law applies only if you're an Aries. If you are any other sign and try to overtake an Aries, he will chase you.
♉ Taurus - The law of extra food 🍕🍰
“For every portion of food you order, the restaurant is obliged to give you a second gift. If they don't, you can take them to court.”
The Bull lives for good food. If you go to him and say, “Just have a portion.”, will look at you with wonder. For Taurus, being restricted in food or poor quality food is unforgivable crime.
According to its new law:
- Each restaurant is required to offer second portion free of charge.
- If someone gets the last bite of your plate without permission, you're entitled to disown him.
- In supermarkets, every chocolate product should have discount for Taurus.
📌 Notes: If this law is applied, Taurus will become even slower in their decisions, because they'll be looking for the place with the best portions.
♊ Gemini - The law of freedom of communication 📱💬
“The ‘read’ option in messages should be removed by law, because no one needs to know if I ignore their messages.”
The Twin does not always have time to answer. It may have ten open debates, three pending video calls, and a bizarre conspiracy theory to analyze.
According to its new law:
- The “read” button should be prohibited by law.
- If someone sends you a “Why don't you answer?”, they will be fined 50€.
- Having over 100 unread messages is now socially acceptable.
📌 Notes: Gemini believes that this law should only apply to them. If someone does not answer them immediately, they'll take it personally.
♋ Cancer - The law of ghosting 💔🚫
“If someone disappears from your life without explanation, they have to send you a 500-word apology essay entitled: ‘I wasn't mature enough to discuss’.”
The Cancer he can't stand ghosting. If someone disappears unnecessarily, Cancer remembers it forever. He can have whole conversations in his head with people who aren't even present.
According to its new law:
- Anyone who disappears from someone's life without explanation is required to write a apology essay.
- If he does not do so, his photo will be put on a list of “Irresponsible People” that will be posted on social media.
- If someone says “I'm not ready for a relationship”, Cancer can to drag him into emotional tort court.
📌 Notes: This law does not apply to Cancers, because they have the right to ghost whenever they feel they need to be protected.
♌ Leo - The law of attention 👑✨
“At every party, there must necessarily be forced moment of cheering for the most glamorous person in the business (i.e., me).”
The Lion lives for attention. If you don't tell him at least once a day that it is Dazzling, will begin to have an existential crisis.
According to its new law:
- Every time he enters a room, at least 5 people have to comment on how much fantastic shows.
- If there is no spotlight on an event, Leo will abandon it immediately.
- Not liking him in less than 5 minutes is considered disrespectful.
📌 Notes: If anyone challenges this law, Leo will make a dramatic exit, while the audience begs him to stay.
♍ Virgo - The law of order and tranquility 📋😌
“Ban clutter and noise after 9pm. People with a schedule suffer.”
The Virgo can't stand the chaos. If you walk into his house and leave your shoes on crooked, he will feel his heart breaking. If you call him after 10 at night for no good reason, he deletes you from his cell phone.
According to its new law:
- Each site must have marking about where what goes into what.
- People who do not fold correctly their clothes, they are required to attend organization seminars.
- If someone says “come whenever you want” and then gets upset that you were late, they will be deprived of their right to socialize.
📌 Notes: Virgo already follows this law without there being, just waiting to become official.
♎ Libra - The law of free delivery 🛍️🍹
“All purchases over 10€ to have free shipping, because otherwise I can't decide if it's worth it.”
The Libra suffer every time he has to make a choice. If he sees that the product he wants costs 9,99€ and the shipping is 5€, he can sit down 3 hours wondering if it's worth it.
According to its new law:
- The transport must be always free.
- If two clothes have similar colour, the shop is obliged to send a video showing the difference.
- If someone gets the last slice of pizza without asking, you will be fined 100€.
📌 Notes: Libra is still thinking whether this law is fair or not.
♏ Scorpio - The law of revenge 🔥😈
“Become legal to find out who hurt you and do to them what they did to you x2. No immunity!”
The Scorpion does not forgive. He does not forget. And more importantly, he can't stand it when someone does something and thinks he's going to get away with it.
According to its new law:
- If an ex-wife hurt you, you have the right to come forward in his next relationship and to you do the same.
- If someone lied, they have to write public apology.
- The “toxic people” will have special warning badge on social media.
📌 Notes: This law will apply retroactively to all the injustices Scorpio has experienced.
♐ Sagittarius - The law of holidays ✈️🌍
“Mandatory 4 holidays per year, otherwise the State shall cover the costs.”
The Sagittarius can't stand the routine. If you have to pass more than 2 months in the same place, he feels oppressed.
According to its new law:
- Everyone has right to 4 holidays per year, paid for by the State.
- The employers not allowed asking “When are you coming back?” before you even leave.
- If someone says, “Travel is a waste of time,” deleted from Facebook.
📌 Notes: Sagittarius will not be present in Parliament when this law is passed because he will be on holiday.
♑ Capricorn - The law of salary 💰📈
“The basic wage to increase every six months, because no one lives on crumbs (and I have goals!).”
The Capricorn works hard and he wants to is rewarded for it. He does not accept to see irresponsible people to be paid the same as him.
According to its new law:
- The salary will increase every semester, otherwise the company will be punishable by a fine.
- The phrases “We're like a family here” and “You have to work with passion” shall be punishable by 10 years' hard labour.
- If your employer doesn't send you the money on time, you can confiscate his desk chair.
📌 Notes: Capricorn already is working on this law, while the others just think about him.
♒ Aquarius - The law of innovation 🚀🛸
“To Permission granted working from home with a 4-day week and a salary without working hours.”
The Aquarius he doesn't understand because we still work as we did at the beginning of the 20th century. Why 8 hours? Why we have to be in the same place;
According to its new law:
- Everyone can work whenever they want, as long as the job gets done.
- If someone uses the phrase “This is not a playground”, they will be punished with compulsory fun lesson.
- Meetings to be held in VR environment, because reality is boring.
📌 Notes: If someone disagrees, Aquarius simply will block him and go on with his life.
♓ Pisces - The law of romance 💕🎭
“To prohibited send ‘OK’ or ‘K’ in a message. I want a detailed, beautiful text full of emotion.”
The Pisces lives for the emotional moments. If he sends something beautiful and gets an “ok” response, he feels like he's stabbed in the heart.
📌 Notes: If someone sends an “okay” to a Pisces, know that Pisces will remember it forever.
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